Talk:Causal Loop Diagram
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I myself am not an expert in English, I could not give you feedback on grammatical and punctuation errors, but your article is written in a very understandable and simple language. | I myself am not an expert in English, I could not give you feedback on grammatical and punctuation errors, but your article is written in a very understandable and simple language. | ||
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| + | == Feedback provided by Madrid: == | ||
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| + | Overall your article has a good size and the topic you have chosen is written in an interesting way, with continuous examples that help understanding the theory. | ||
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| + | In addition, I like the fact that you have both included and commented figures throughout your paper as well as making a good set of references that complement your article. | ||
| + | It is an engaging topic with a nice flow due to connections made between the distinct points. | ||
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| + | Below I include some corrections and comments that I personally think will improve your wiki article: | ||
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| + | - I would state in the article where the references are used so the reader can take a look at them while reading. | ||
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| + | - It would be nicer to add the conclusion on a separate point and avoid word repetitions within the same sentence such as: to avoid, is caused. | ||
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| + | - Find synonyms for (in relation to) in 'What is a Causal Loop Diagram?' first paragraph. | ||
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| + | - From my point of view there are some grammatical mistakes, although they are just tiny details that can be fixed with a word translator. Here are some notes with the changes included: | ||
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| + | '''ABSTRACT''' : | ||
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| + | *''to reflect and '''advance''' the process. '''is it streamline?''' | ||
| + | *''By examining the dynamics in the CLD, project managers can use it as a decision tool and be aware ... | ||
| + | *''since the project manager cannot frame all the effects and causes intuitively as they interrelate differently. The activity of diagramming the CLD consists of the project manager revising and organizing the complexity, ... | ||
| + | *''cause confusion in the reader, ... | ||
| + | *''feedback loops have to be considered ... | ||
| + | *''to what variables are causing problems ... | ||
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| + | '''HISTORY''' : | ||
| + | *''but it's the basis for creating feedback ... | ||
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| + | '''WHAT IS A CAUSAL LOOP DIAGRAM?''' : | ||
| + | *''In the second paragraph: first and last line: create instead of creates ... As well as in the first line of 'Feedback Loops'. | ||
| + | *''where the variable is a set of causes that ... | ||
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| + | '''DIFFERENT DYNAMIC BEHAVIOR''' : | ||
| + | *''behavior instead of behaviour ... | ||
| + | *''The dynamics of growth with overshoot are the result ... | ||
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| + | '''HOW TO CREATE A CLD''' : | ||
| + | *''I would rather write: what this variable affects and how the effect is (or use question marks) ... | ||
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| + | '''CLD IN PROJECT MANAGEMENT''' : | ||
| + | *''is performing better since one diagram is mapping the causes and the effects ... | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''APPLICATION OF CLD''' : | ||
| + | *''The events that are interesting to illustrate in the CLD have to be found. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''CLD APPLICATION EXAMPLE: A PRODUCT DEVELOPMENT SYSTEM''' : | ||
| + | *''needs to be developed and put into practice. | ||
| + | *''the goodwill towards the manager. | ||
| + | *''have less variance on their schedule since they now have to ... | ||
| + | *''By having more overtime the costs will be affected and increased, ... | ||
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| + | I hope this is helpful and good job! Kind regards. | ||
Revision as of 23:56, 25 November 2014
Over all the structure of the article is very nice, many sources and it is easy to read. You have described the topic very well in a very understandable way. The litterature you have used, is very reliable and trustworthy. I miss references for the loop diagrams.
Feedback on grammatical- and punctuation errors
I myself am not an expert in English, I could not give you feedback on grammatical and punctuation errors, but your article is written in a very understandable and simple language.
Feedback provided by Madrid:
Overall your article has a good size and the topic you have chosen is written in an interesting way, with continuous examples that help understanding the theory.
In addition, I like the fact that you have both included and commented figures throughout your paper as well as making a good set of references that complement your article. It is an engaging topic with a nice flow due to connections made between the distinct points.
Below I include some corrections and comments that I personally think will improve your wiki article:
- I would state in the article where the references are used so the reader can take a look at them while reading.
- It would be nicer to add the conclusion on a separate point and avoid word repetitions within the same sentence such as: to avoid, is caused.
- Find synonyms for (in relation to) in 'What is a Causal Loop Diagram?' first paragraph.
- From my point of view there are some grammatical mistakes, although they are just tiny details that can be fixed with a word translator. Here are some notes with the changes included:
ABSTRACT :
- to reflect and advance the process. is it streamline?
- By examining the dynamics in the CLD, project managers can use it as a decision tool and be aware ...
- since the project manager cannot frame all the effects and causes intuitively as they interrelate differently. The activity of diagramming the CLD consists of the project manager revising and organizing the complexity, ...
- cause confusion in the reader, ...
- feedback loops have to be considered ...
- to what variables are causing problems ...
HISTORY :
- but it's the basis for creating feedback ...
WHAT IS A CAUSAL LOOP DIAGRAM? :
- In the second paragraph: first and last line: create instead of creates ... As well as in the first line of 'Feedback Loops'.
- where the variable is a set of causes that ...
DIFFERENT DYNAMIC BEHAVIOR :
- behavior instead of behaviour ...
- The dynamics of growth with overshoot are the result ...
HOW TO CREATE A CLD :
- I would rather write: what this variable affects and how the effect is (or use question marks) ...
CLD IN PROJECT MANAGEMENT :
- is performing better since one diagram is mapping the causes and the effects ...
APPLICATION OF CLD :
- The events that are interesting to illustrate in the CLD have to be found.
CLD APPLICATION EXAMPLE: A PRODUCT DEVELOPMENT SYSTEM :
- needs to be developed and put into practice.
- the goodwill towards the manager.
- have less variance on their schedule since they now have to ...
- By having more overtime the costs will be affected and increased, ...
I hope this is helpful and good job! Kind regards.
